Here are a few of the "Best Funny Retirement Quotes" and funny retirement sayings.
"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous.
When I was sixty-five I still had pimples."
"Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left."
— George F. Burns
"When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent
importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch."
"I've been attending lots of seminars
in my retirement. They're called naps."
~Merri Brownworth~ Funny retirement quotes
"Engineers never retire, they just lose their bearings."
"My retirement plan is to find a shopping cart with good snow tires."
"In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or
twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball."
"A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job."
~Ella Harris~ Funny retirement one liners
"Accountants don't retire, they just lose their balance."
~Unknown~ Funny retirement sayings
"The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a
quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring."
"When some people retire, it's going to be
mighty hard to be able to tell the difference."
"I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring
from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron."
~Hartman Jule~ Funny retirement quotes
"If people concentrated on the really important things
in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles."
"I'm Retired - goodbye tension, hello pension!"
"The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~